Imagine Johnny.

Quick one - I am exhausted!!

So I just realised that I actually have not eaten meat for a weak now.
I am definitely not one of those hippos, pretending to care about the horse but swallowing a chicken without thinking.
To me it's all the same. I used to be a veggie so whatever meat I see, I am very well aware that it is nothing but a dead animal.
Don't get me wrong - I never judged. Luckily, considering the fact that I started eating meat again when the bulimia kicked in. I even believe that some bodies actually do need some meat to work properly.

I just feel like I have to defend myself - for going veggie again.
I cannot resist the sushi and eggs though. Not yet or not any more.

So I went out with a couple friends for some sushi and one of the guys is a very lovely character but not a role model. Drugs, mainly, weed.
I know some of you out there do that in a daily basis and I do it from time to time - but only like 4 times a year. I think it's okay for people to do that as long as it isn't more often than once a week or whatever. As long as it doesn't control your daily routine and your brain cells are still okay.
Well, we had two one night stands. Like two years ago. We are good friends and it hasn't ruined anything.
But if it weren't for his constant money problems and the constant pot smoking, I would actually love to date him.

He has the most amazing body - especially his back! Oh my god his shoulders!!! Imagine Johnny Knoxville in his very good days. Hell, imagine Daniel Craig when he walked out of the water in Casino Royale!

He was really cute and I wanted to just cuddle a bit, lean on his shoulder. I was so very tired. And he was polite and helped me into my coat, brought me some hot peppers from the buffet, he just felt really close.
His best friend and flatmate apparently has a crush on me. Plus my brother was there. Otherwise I would've used him as a pretend boyfriend, if only to feel close to someone.

Come on. I barely remember sleeping with him, first time was I think 2 yrs ago, 2nd time like 1 1/2 yrs. I only remember him telling me that I could work out a bit more - and we are sill friends! It was never complicated. Never. A couple months ago he slept in my bed and we woke up and he had his arm around me for like 5 hours and we just talked and cuddled. About his ex who he still loves and wants back. But it felt quite nice, really.

Just lying there in bed, talking and occasionally ruining each others haircut just for a laugh or make sure they have enough blanket - or steal it.

That was so important to me - maybe because the relationship with the English wanker wasn't at all like this.

So I was tired and he was so cute and helpful and I just wanted to rest on his shoulder to relax but instead I had to smile and make sure they wouldn't notice.

How effed up is this?!?

Bloody hell I need a boyfriend!!!


At least I have the gym. Was there Friday, Sunday and today. Today was really spontaneous because I had no time but went to the gym at 7.45 and they close at 10 but I used every minute! Only had a like 3 minute shower - it was 9.55 when I stopped training - and allowed myself 2 veggie burgers and a small vanilla milkshake from McDonald's.

WHAT I was hungry and deserved it!! And I trained for two hours without a break!

Haha just scrolled up and saw that I started with "quick one".

Well I deserve some sleep now.

Still wondering what happened to all my followers :(
it makes me so sad, really.
It is way more fun and easier not to eat when my smartphone shows me some feedback from you guys every couple hours.
Especially when I'm at work!

Ok time for bed now gotta get up in 5 hours again.


- wanted to write "xxx" and autocorrect changed it to
Zzzz.


Ok good night!!! X!