So here's what happened the other night.
I went to the pub - without S who had other plans. But 2 guys from the pub asked me to come and I thought why not. Yeah of course I wanted to see the Australian again.
First hour was horrible. Sometimes I am very insecure about my english skills. Plus being around Scots and Irish men and Australians all the time - I don't understand them! I understand english people, yep. But the rest?
There is a difference between understanding and speaking english as well.
So I got drunk enough to talk to them. It was fun. And all of a sudden the lights are out, the Australian and I are on our own, getting it on. I remember him saying "You came back for me didn't you" and me denying it. I also remember - very vaguely - that before we started that shit again he mentioned seeing someone, sort of, and I think he was trying to give me a signal to not fall for him or sth like that. Whatever.
I saw him a couple times last week and everytime I was sober I barely spoke to him but as soon as we were proper wasted we made out.
Bit obvious this is not the start of a relationship isn't it ...
Too many blackouts to tell you what exactly happened but when we left it was broad daylight and I ended up at his place and we had sex.
I wanted to leave but he told me to stay - it wasn't exactly like "I want to be near you, please stay" - not very emotional. I also don't remember kissing him when we had sex.
is that something you guys do?
When you have sex, do you kiss?
I haven't had so much sex in my life but I cannot recall kissing people ... weird. Is that normal?
Anyhow so I stayed but had no opportunity to get some sleep. Mind wandering and all that shit.
For example about my body. Apparently he doesn't have those problems, he wouldn't even get under the sheets when he fell asleep and I had a couple hours to examine his body. But was too drunk to actually have a look. Shoot.
I felt really skinny that morning (haha okay I lost 6,6 lbs over night, remember?) so I think it was okay to get my clothes off.
I remember him saying, all of a sudden: you're sexy.
And I was like ... no. I'm not. (I don't think I am, really).
And he looked at me and said: "Yes. You are." Then he chuckled and there was sth in his eyes, disbelief, something like that. And he said: "Everyone at the pub thinks you're sexy".
Thank you. I don't want to be the sexy one.
I want to be the girl they want to get to know.
Now because I'm the sexy one I'm the ONS of the bartender who's seeing someone else.
I don't mind him seeing someone else but you know what's really bothering me? The fact that one thought will not even cross his mind: Maybe I'm seeing the wrong girl.
This may sound really bad and vain but wouldn't it be nice if I actually made an impression on him?
Don't get me wrong I think he's really attractive and funny but I don't need him to fall in love with me.
But it'd be nice, you know?
So I spent a coulpe hours in bed with him and it was interesting. He's 10 years older and all of a sudden I saw that his skin actually looks a bit older. As well as his tattoos. I saw some wrinkles and that he spent a lot of time in the sun. But it looked okay.
8 hours after we'd left the pub I took my clothes back on and kissed him goodbye, he woke up and I gotta say - that is the only kiss we ever had that I actually remember!
Seriously. I had some time to sober up (hangover kicking in already) and I only kissed him because it felt weird to just leave and then he kissed me back and it was a really soft kiss. I think the best way to describe it is the kind of kiss that 2 people share who just fell back in love with each other or maybe just learned to appreciate each other, the way you kiss someone when you have to leave and you don't really want to go but you know you have to. And it's okay but you put a bit more emotion in the kiss.
Bet he thought, thanks to the alcohol and the fact that my kiss woke him up and he didn't even open his eyes, that i was the other girl. haha.
Of course I went to see S straight away and told her everything about it, then had 2 hours sleep and then she woke me up - to go back to the pub. I'd promised her to come with her Saturday night. Knew the Australian had his day off and that was perfect - I finally had the chance to show them I wasn't only there for him. And even though the hangover nearly killed me we stayed all night and ended up having drinks with the other bartender til 6 am. Okay, not me. I didn't drink. But I enjoyed myself.
Gotta admit I had a kebap on our way home but I had not eaten Saturday and after 2 Guiness and only 2 hours sleep plus a massive hangover - i had to eat something.
129 this morning.
And tonight I had a bowl of spaghetti - sorry. Which means I'll have to starve tomorrow.
I also had coffee with L, the foe-friend. Because that was before the spaghetti bowl and I felt skinny and I thought let's get it over with. God she's full of herself.
So what was the motivation for the 3 weeks challenge?
See L and fuck the bartender?
It's only day 3 and I already did both ...
Ah fuck it, why not do it again in 3 weeks.
Leave some comments, guys!